


Gone

by tiedyeflag



Category: Clockwork (Webcomic)
Genre: Angst and Tragedy, Suicide mention
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-04
Updated: 2016-03-04
Packaged: 2018-05-24 15:30:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6158227
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tiedyeflag/pseuds/tiedyeflag
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When something precious and irreplaceable is suddenly gone, it can start a chain reaction of other permanent losses. Something Christian and Gaz found the hard way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Gone

**** Creeping up the sidewalk in the moonlight, Gaz approached the Vogal mansion while scratching his stomach. It growled, begging for food. He gave it a patient pat and when the coast was clear, he slipped onto the porch. However, he frowned at how dark it was; normally Christian had the front porch light on by now. Gaz shrugged it off and took a step forward; not to the door, but the window. With a practiced hand he forced it open and entered.

“Oh, Sciiiiiii-entist!” Gaz sung. “It’s your favorite Ringleader! Ready for dinner!”

Dead silence. And dark, too. The lamp on the side table wasn’t on like usual, leaving the living room in shadows. No light from the kitchen, either, or anywhere.

“Sciii-entist! You home?” Gaz called. Like Christian would be out at this hour, with a serial killer on the loose. But then...why was everything so dark?

“Don’t tell me you went to bed early, Scientist!” Gaz chuckled. “The night is still young, especially with me around~”

No answer. Not a sound besides the soft ticking of the miniature golden clock on the mantle. Smirking and swinging his crowbar over his shoulder, Gaz strolled down the hall to the master bedroom, feeling the comfy carpet beneath his shoes with each step. To his surprise the door was ajar and equally dark. Gaz paused at the doorway and felt around for the light switch. 

_ Flick! _

Light flooded the room from the antique light fixture. After his eyes adjusted, Gaz scanned the room. Just a chest of drawers full of turtlenecks, a bedside table of the finest wood, and a king sized bed with fluffed pillows...and a newspaper.

Curious, Gaz grabbed it. His green eyes skimmed the front page, and moments later went wide. An idea fested in his mind, twisting and forming more anxious designs…

“Scientist!” Gaz yelled as he walked back to the hallway. “Scientist! Where are you!?” He carelessly dropped the paper as he left the bedroom. It landed with a dull  _ fwap _ , front page facing upwards. The headlines read, in bold letters, ARCADIAN AMBASSADOR AND ASSISTANT KILLED IN CARRIAGE ACCIDENT.

* * *

 

After scouring every room on all four floors, Gaz leaned over the stairwell to catch his breath. He rubbed the spot between his eyes as he grumbled, “Damn it, Scientist, where are you?”

With jaded eyes, he glanced over to the top of the staircase, leading to the rooftop. No one in their right mind would go up there at this chilly hour.

But…

Sighing, Gaz sluggishly climbed the rest of the stairs and twisted the doorknob. The metal felt cool to his fingers, and when he opened the door, he was greeted with a cold gust of wind, his green trench coat fluttering behind him.

A figure in a black coat and yellow scarf stood on the edge of the rooftop with their back to Gaz. The wind mussed up their black hair with yellow stripes through them like lightning bolts.

“Scientist!!”

Christian whipped around with a start. His blue eyes were wide and his breathing heavy.

“G...Gaz?”

“Yes, none other than Gaz, King of Rats, the Ringleader, ruler of The Catacombs!” Gaz chirped. “Now what are you doing out here at this ridiculous hour?”

Christian opened his mouth, but nothing came out. He lowered his eyes and shuffled his feet.

“Why not come inside and fix me a sandwich? It’s much warmer in the kitchen then it is ou-”

“You should go,”

“-Huh?”

“Just...go. Please…” Christian kept his eyes down.

“I’m not going anywhere without some dinner,” Gaz walked closer. “So come on and fix me-”

Christian’s fists clenched as his shoulders hunched up. A hiccup spilt from his lips.

“Say something?” Gaz asked, taking another step.

“C...C-C-Cog…” He sniffed. “C-Cog’s...gone…”

“Yes, so I’ve noticed, Scientist,”

“H-he’s gone, and Alex, t-too...a-and they’re not coming back... _ sniff _ ...a-and I-” Christian clenched his teeth as a tear ran down his face and stained his scarf. “I-I couldn’t do anything to save them!!”

“Easy there, Scientist,” Gaz waved for Christian to calm down. “What could you have done, grown wings and swoop in to the rescue?”

“I could have done  _ something!! _ ” Christian shouted. “I don’t know what but if I was there then I could have saved them!! But I didn’t and now they’re  _ gone!! _ ”

“Scientist-”

“Gone!! They're both gone!!” He rubbed his red eyes with his scarf as more tears came.

“Scientist, quit this nonsense-” Gaz took another step forward, feigning calm. “-and come back inside. My stomach isn’t going to fill itself.”

Christian dropped his scarf and slowly blinked back at Gaz. Sighing, Gaz walked closer. “Now let’s g-”

“Gaz,”

“-what?”

“Good bye,” 

Christian leaned backwards.

“ _ Scientist!!! _ ” Gaz dashed and reached out for Christian. His fingers grasped the end of Christian’s scarf, but it merely came undone as Christian fell. It slipped from his pale neck and dangled from Gaz’s hand over the edge, fluttering in the wind.

“SCIENTIST!!!”

Gaz saw Christian’s body land in the thick bushes bordering the backside of the house with a loud crunch. Clutching the edge of the roof as he shivered, Gaz stood frozen for a full two minutes before he snapped back to his senses.

Maybe...maybe Christian was still...alive? The bushes did cushion his fall…

Gasping for air Gaz turned on his heels and sprinted down the stairs. Just as he reached the ground floor, he paused and furrowed his brows. What should he do…? Dragging an unconscious man through the streets in the middle of the night-- the very definition of suspicious. Worse, he might be mistaken as the serial killer!

Swiftly Gaz dropped his crowbar, wrapped the scarf around his mouth and ran to the phone. He hastily dialed and held the mouthpiece to his lips.

“...Ahem, hello, Arcadian Police?” Gaz said, using the scarf to muffle his voice. “I-I just saw someone fall from the roof of a mansion...the Vogal mansion...no, no I don’t think so, it was too dark to see...I-I don’t know, they fell into their backyard...uh-huh...yes…” He swallowed. “M-My name…? I-it’s-err-J-John...Scarf. Yes, John Scarf. I-I was taking a walk when I saw it from the street...Yes...yes...Okay, good bye.”

He put the phone back with a sigh, the scarf dropping to his neck. Then he pressed his head against the wall so he could stare at the floor. His skin was paler than usual, and eyes unfocused. Gaz finally forced himself to press off the wall with his hands. With a glazed over expression, he grabbed his crowbar and walked mechanically to the still open window.

He blended back into the darkness like an expert as he walked back to The Catacombs, leaving no trace.

* * *

 

“Ringleader!!” Alice shouted as she continued to bang the door. “Come out already! It’s been three days!!”

Gaz refused to budge from his shabby bed. He dragged the cheap sheets closer to his body. Around his neck was the yellow scarf, which still held the lingering scent of citrus shampoo and Christian’s skin. His eyes were open, but blank, matching his expression. Dark circles under his eyes, terrible bedhead, and old tear tracks down his chiseled cheeks.

“Ringleader, come on!” Alice said. “The whole Catacombs is starting to worry! This isn’t like you!”

When no response came, Alice muttered to herself. Then Gaz heard the faint sound of approaching footsteps, followed by more whispers. Probably Caleen bringing more food to replace the remains of yesterday’s meal. Gaz uncharastically left all edible offerings untouched, and the rats feasted in his absence. 

But this time there was another set of footsteps accompanying Caleen’s. If Gaz cared, he would have recognized it, but instead remained motionless in his bed.

After a gasp and some soft words, Alice knocked again, but gently this time. “Ringleader? You...have a guest.”

“...”

“I think you’ll want to see him.”

_ Him? _ Now Gaz turned his head curiously. “...who is it?”

“Why don’t you open the door and see for yourself?”

“Hmph,” After a long, lingering pause, Gaz dragged himself out of bed, reluctantly unlocked the door, and opened it a fraction.

“...Scien-?”

A young face urgently squished through the opening. Caramel colored bangs, a paperboy cap, and tiny nose. “Gaz, it’s me!” 

“Cog?!” Gaz let Cog squeeze inside. He noticed Cog didn’t have a scratch, not even a nick on his prized orange jumpsuit. “I-I thought you-?”

“I can explain!” Cog said. “We were going back home the other day when…s-something spooked the horses…” Cog’s eyes trailed guiltily to his hands. “Then carriage crashed. We jumped out in time but...we left our jackets inside. Somehow the news made it sound like we were dead…Alex said some ‘rival aristocrat’ who owns the newspaper wanted him-”

Cog stopped when he saw Gaz sit down on his bed, head low. His messy bangs covered his eyes while the scarf obscured the lower half of his face.

“Gaz?”

“...that goddamn fool-”

“Alex?”

“I mean the Scientist, damn it!” Gaz growled. He crossed his arms and clutched at his green sleeves. “He thought you--”

“That’s why I’m here!”

Gaz lifted his eyes, though still skeptical.

“...If you want the scarf, then too bad. Finders keepers.”

“W-well, that’s great and all, but, I was looking for  _ you _ , Gaz,”

“...”

“I...I think Christian would...er...” Cog paused to find the right word, “...b-benefit from seeing y-”

Gaz’s face shot up as the scarf fell to his collarbone, revealing parted, chapped lips. “Did you just imply the Scientist is--?”

“Uhhhhh, welllll…” Cog let the words roll uncomfortably on his tongue. “M...Maybe you should see for your yourself,”

* * *

 

Gaz bit his tongue as he followed Cog through the hospital hallway. Such an unfamiliar place...dull white walls with even duller grey tiles. And full of people in white coats walking to and fro everywhere. They either gave him a rude stare or shocked expression; would their next patient be this scruffy hobo? Gaz however wasn’t interested in revealing his power as the Ringleader to them, to remind them of their place. Instead he bored his eyes into the back of Cog’s head. Every time Gaz asked about Christian, Cog clumsily sidestepped the subject. 

“We’re almost there,” Cog said. “His room’s at the end of the hall-”

A sudden hand from the side grabbed Cog’s shoulder. “Excuse me, aren’t you Cog Kleinschmidt? The Ambassador’s Assistant?” Said a female doctor with short white hair.

“Y-yeah?”

“But aren’t you supposed to be de-”

Cog groaned. “How many times do I have to say it, I’m  _ alive! _ We jumped out of the carraige-”

“So the Ambassador also survived?” Cut in another doctor with a large brown mustache.

“Who cares about him?!”

As more and more doctors crowded around Cog, Gaz slipped away unnoticed to the end of the hall. When he read the interchangeable sign on the door his eyes lit up.

_ Christian Vogal. _

Gaz glanced down the hall, seeing Cog and the entire hospital faculty holding heated conversations over the Ambassador. All completely oblivious to him.

Gaz pushed the door open. He gasped; in the middle of the room, between him and a half open window, was a simple hospital bed. And a man with black and blond striped hair sat in it, staring out the window.

For the first time in several days, Gaz wore his charismatic smile. 

...Christian was so still. He didn’t even turn his head at the sound of the door opening. Gaz’s heart swayed on the edge of falling again, hesitant.

“...ahem,” Gaz coughed.

Christian turned with a start. The light from outside reflected the edges of his glasses, one lense cracked. Probably from the fall, Gaz thought. But Christian’s eyes, those blue, bright eyes...looked absent. Empty, like he just woke from a long slumber.

“Good morning, Scientist,” Gaz tipped his large hat. “Or should I say sleepy head?”

“...”

“What’s wrong, rat got your tongue?”

Christian paled. “U-uh, well, I…”

Gaz fiddled with the scarf still around his neck at Christian’s unusual behavior. Then he undid the scarf. “Here, I believe this belongs to you. Normally I’d keep it, but it clashes with my attire,” Gaz dropped it into Christian’s limp hands. “Besides, it looks better on you,”

“...I...um…”

“Yes, Scientist?”

“...why do you keep calling me that?”

Gaz blinked. “Hm? But you know I’ve never called you anything different, Scientist.”

“You...have…?”

“What do you mean by that…?” 

“U-um...excuse me for changing the subject, but…” Christian cleared his throat, “...what’s your name?”

Gaz’s face fell with his heart. His mouth went slack as he held his breath.

“Are you a frien-”

“Scientist,” Gaz leaned over the bed, tone a touch frantic. “You don’t...don’t remember? Anything?”

“N-No...I don’t even remember how I got here...”

“Not even this?” Gaz snatched the scarf back and held it in the air. “This...it’s like my hat! You never go anywhere without it!”

Christian stared at it for a long moment before sadly shaking his head. “N...No, I don’t remember…”

“...your entire memory...gone?”

“Yeah…” Christian removed his glasses and cleaned them with the edge of the bed sheets. “The doctors said I might never fully recover it either...”

When Christian perched his glasses on his nose, he found Gaz’s arms limp, hands still clutching the scarf. His stiff shoulders matched his equally still posture. Eyes darting from Christian to the back of his mind. 

“...Are you okay…?”

Pressing his lips together, Gaz suddenly darted to the window, shoved it open, and leaped out. 

“Hey!” Christian scrambled from his bed, ignoring the occasional ache, and ran to the window. “Wait!!” He shouted as he stuck his head outside. No sight of the crazy man in green that made off with the yellow scarf.

“Christian!”

With a yelp, Christian banged his head against the blunt edge of the window at the voice. While rubbing his aching head, he turned around, finding Cog at the door.

“Are you okay?” Cog asked.

“I-I don’t know, but some guy just jumped out of my window!”

“What?!”

“He barged in, started talking, and next thing I know, Gaz was out the window!”

Cog gasped. “...Wh-what did you just say…?”

“That Gaz was...out...the…” Christian stopped rubbing his head. Then he slumped against the wall as his mind raced.

“G-Gaz...that’s his...name...right…?”

“It’s working!!” Cog beamed. “I knew he’d jog your memory!” Then he looked around the room. “Where is he?”

“I said he just jumped out the window!”

“What?! Why?!”

“I-I don’t know, after I told him I lost my memory, he was gone!”

“Come on!” Cog grabbed Christian by the wrist and dragged him behind. “ We gotta find him so you can remember!!”

* * *

 

After searching every nook and cranny of The Catacombs, Cog and Christian collapsed on some crates, feeling their aching feet cry for mercy.

“Where could he be…?” Cog said.

“And why did he leave...?” Christian scratched his hair, fingers brushing over the healing bump on his head. His memory came back in pieces as they searched, but they were still hazy at best. Something he hoped finding Gaz would fix.

Cog removed his hat to cool down. Just then he noticed a small crowd of Catacomb dwellers on the other side of the street with distressed expressions. They whispered hoarsely to each other.

“I can’t believe it! I-it can’t be so!”

“Why did he do it?!”

“What’s going to become of us now…?”

“If only someone found him in his bedroom sooner-!”

_ “Bedroom…?” _ Cog bit his lip. Then he pulled his hat back on as a realization struck him. “We forgot to search his bedroom!!”

Christian’s eyes focused into space, another memory surfacing. Gaz’s bedroom, piles of dirty quilts on a bed, dusty and dark, just like his personality.

“C’mon!” Cog interrupted Christian’s thoughts and dragged him off the crate. They ran past shabby residences and dimly lit passageways until they reached the door of Gaz’s room. A luxury reserved for the King of Rats himself.

Christian wrestled with the door knob, but it refused to budge. “Gaz, are you in there?”

“...”

“It’s me, Christian! I remember you!!” He glanced to the side. “Well, partially…”

“...”

“Gaz, seeing you jogged Christian’s memory!” Cog shouted. “So come out!” 

“...”

“Are you even listening, Gaz?” Christian pressed his ear to the door, only hearing utter  silence. “...Gaz? Are you okay?”

“...”

“Gaz, if you don’t come out in the next minute, then...we’re coming in!”

“Stand back!” Cog backed up. Ignoring Christian’s pleas to wait, Cog hurled forward and rammed into the door. The scrap wood door crumbled easily under the force, and landed on the ground with a thud.

Followed by Cog grunting, raising his head, and choking for air.

Even in the poor light, he saw the silhouette of a lanky figure dangling from the ceiling by a yellow scarf. As still and silent as a dead rat.

Frozen, Cog stared at the body until he heard someone fall to their knees behind him. He turned and saw Christian kneeling over the ground, holding his head in his hands.

“...My...god...no...n-no, no no no nono _ nono _ ...” He murmured as tears stung his eyes. 

“C-Christian…?”

“...I...I...I tried to...k-kill myself...b-because I-I thought y-y-you and Alex were d-dead…!” Christian whimpered. 

“Y-you...did what…?” Cog gasped in disbelief.

“A-And Gaz...tried to s-stop me…! H-he kept saying to ‘stop this nonsense’ and come inside!!” He painfully swallowed. “W-why didn’t I listen to him  _ dammit?! Why?! _ Now he’s  _ gone!! _ ” Hot tears flowed down his cheeks and dripped down his chin. “Th-This... _ this is all my goddamn fault!! _ ”

Christian stopped when Cog suddenly flung his arms around him and squeezed him. His shoulders trembled and Christian felt wetness soaking through his jacket. Sniffling and biting his lip, Christian hugged Cog back before he too was overcome with tears again.

“I-I...I-I’m so sorry...I’m so, so sorry…I’m so sorry-!” Christian choked on the lump in his throat. “ _ I’m so sorry-y-y!! _ ”

Cog buried his fingers into Christian’s black jacket, trying to comfort the man that had done the same so many times before. The two sat on the ground, a crying, quivering bundle of whimpers, mourning the loss of The Ringleader still hanging from the ceiling, gone forever.

**Author's Note:**

> AN: One day my brain went down a rabbit hole of angst and my hands went with it because I am evil ohohoho...aaaaaand I had a rough week so I figured maybe getting some feelz out on paper would do me good. It was either FULL BLOWN ANGST or sad make out, and my heart went with the first. Maybe someday I'll write an alternate ending with a happy ending...


End file.
